Even though these are old, I decided to post them cuz I think they're funny. The sad thing is that some of them apply to me. But, I refuse to admit which ones! :/
* Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
* Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there isn't enough?
* Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
* Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
* Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
* Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
* Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
* Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
* Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
* Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
* The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
* Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
* Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there isn't enough?
* Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
* Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
* Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
* Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
* Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
* Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
* Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
* Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
* The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.