We started our 6awaf around el Ka3ba and it was not an easy task. Thousands of people all in one small location, all trying to perform the same duties. Somehow, sub7an Allah, we managed to find a slot and squeezed into the 6awaf ring. Once we reached the line where the 7ajjar aswad begins, we started our seven ashwa6:
« اللهم امانتي اديتها ، وميثاقي تعاهدته ، لتشهد لي بالموافاة ، اللهم تصديقا بكتابك ، وعلى سنة نبيك ،صلواتك عليه و اله اشهد ان لا إله إلا الله وحده لا شريك له ، وان محمدا عبده ورسوله.. »
At first, it was tough to see where the black line by el7ajar elaswad starts. If you look down, you risk tripping, falling down and getting trampled on. Then we discovered that there’s a green light on top. If you just keep your eye on it, then you know where to begin each sho6.
We struggled to maintain our formation; people pushing from each direction. It was a raging sea of people. It wasn’t easy to keep your feet grounded as you felt a tide come in and lift you literally off your feet; you felt yourself somehow being pulled away from your group. The harder the forces against you, the harder you concentrated on keeping pace and keeping your ground. At first, I lost sight of what I was doing; I was too busy trying to not fall down. Fear took over for a few minutes, but then I remembered what I was there for. I’m in bait Allah; He’s protecting me and watching over me. What more could I ask for? What is there to fear? Nothing!
I lifted my head up high, held on strong, and raised my left arm forward to protect the women in our group from getting pulled away:
الشوط الأول: "اللهم اني اسألك باسمك الذي يمشي به على ظلل الماء كما يمشي به على جدد الأرض..."
الشوط الثاني: “اللهم اني اليك فقير و اني خائف مستجير.."
الشوط الثالث: "اللهم ادخلني الجنة و اجرني من النار برحمتك.."
الشوط الرابع: "يا الله يا ولي العافية و خالق العافية..."
الشوط الخامس: "الحمدلله الذي شرفك و عظمك.."
الشوط السادس: "اللهم البيت بيتك و العبد عبدك و هذا مقام العائذ بك من النار..."
الشوط السابع: "اللهم إن عندي أفواجا من ذنوب..."
I have no idea how, but the seven ashwa6 were done before we knew it. I have no idea how we managed to stay solid in our 6awaf and finish so quickly. We walked sideways and got out and dropped to pray rak3atay el 6awaf:
"اصلي ركعتي الطواف لعمرة التمتع لحج التمتع حج الإسلام لوجوبه قربة إلى الله تعالى"
The minute my forehead touched the cold ground, I didn’t want to raise my head. I was too ashamed, too embarrassed, too weak. Here I have over the past x number of years of my life taken so many things for granted, and now here I drop my head to Rab el 3almeen asking him to forgive everything. How can I dare lift my head? How can I dare even beg for forgiveness when I don’t even feel that I’m worthy of it? I felt all the burdens of my sins weigh heavily on my shoulders, forcing my head to remain down, while my tears dropped in repentance.
After I got done with the prayer, I went and drank from Zamzam water. As silly as this may sound, you feel the cold water going through your body as if it too wants to help in your cleansing.
The Sa3ee between Al-Safa wil Marwa was another task within itself. Don’t look around you, focus straight ahead, read the ad3eya, and walk the seven ashwa6. When you get to the area between the two green lights and men start to jog, at first this catches your attention and you wonder what it going on. Then you remember that this is where Hajjar ran when she was looking for water for her son.
Then it all hits you. Mentally, you remove the nice building structure, you remove the fans and the lighting, you remove every man made form of convenience and you try to think back of how 7ajj/6awaf was back then. Your mind takes you back to Hajjar and her struggle when her infant son was screaming for water. When, helpless, she ran between the Safa and Marwa looking for any sign of water, any sign of help. That is, until God's mercy let the waters of Zamzam flow from right beneath her son Ismael's feet.
Remembering her, her braveness and faith, and how she told her husband, Sayedna Ebrahim as he walked away from her and their son:
“آلله أمرك بهذا؟ قال: نعم. قالت: إذا لا يضيعنا”
Who am I compared to her? No one. What have I done compared to her? Nothing. What is my faith measured against her? Non-existent!! Everything about this place screams of God’s greatness and the miracles he has bestowed upon us; it screams of the greatness of the Prophets and el-mo2mneen; it’s a reminder for all of us that we are mere molecules of dust when our faith is measured against their’s.
That is the real lesson. Who cares about all the other things we complain about during our daily life? Who cares that my dad yelled at me, that my sister annoyed me, or that my friend didn’t return my call? Who cares that my boss doesn’t give me full credit, that my coworker doesn’t carry his/her weight? When it all comes down to it, none of that matters. We’re living a daily test from God. Are we prepared to see the results?