So many questions, but the overall emotion was that of fear and excitement.
Those in charge of the 7emla were great. They were organized, they had people all over the place, they took care of us and made us feel welcome and taken care of!
E7ram: What an amazing feeling… to sit there and cleanse yourself physically, mentally, emotionally. To know that the minute you’re done with e7ram, you suddenly are a person who has to give up so many things: no getting upset or mad, no getting frustrated, no killing of any insects, no pulling any hairs out, no looking in the mirror, no to a lot of things, and yes to a lot more. Yes to purifying your soul. Yes to praying and remembering the teachings of Islam. Yes to being good to your fellow humans and helping out.
It’s funny how this is how we SHOULD be every day of our lives, but for some reason, it’s so much easier when you’re in Hajj/close to Bait Allah. Now that we have cleansed ourselves, it was time to head to
El Ka3ba: We finally arrived at Bait Allah around 2 a.m. and organized in small groups. It was time to prepare to go in and perform the 3omra tasks first. We lined up and el murshid explained to us what we were going to do: “When we go in, we’ll line up. I will read the neya and you have to repeat it after me. We then will walk towards the Ka3ba in the same formation. Stick close to each other. Women, lock your arms together and don’t let go. Men, surround the women and try to protect them so others don’t bump into them. Let’s go.”
As we started to walk in, my heart was beating so loud, I could barely hear anything. “I’m ready for this,” I thought, “nothing to fear or worry about.” Then, a flood of tears gushed down my cheeks. I was suddenly standing in front of el Ka3ba and I couldn’t contain myself. I felt 3athamat El Khaleq around me. I felt this great rahba that I can’t even begin to explain to you! As I said the neya I suddenly forgot about the whole world. Nothing existed in my mind except what I saw in front of me and the reason I was there. No work, no worldly troubles, nothing. All of that was a distant memory which didn’t seem to matter anymore. Why did I get so annoyed with my boss all those times? Why was I upset with my friend? Why did this and that get me frustrated? Those all suddenly seemed like stupid things which, in the bigger picture/in the big scheme of things, were SOOO irrelevant that I suddenly felt stupid for even getting bothered by any of it.
We started walking towards the Ka3ba to begin el 6awaf…