Compromise

Mother Courage, a few weeks ago, wrote about Compromise, which is something I’ve been meaning to write about for a long time, but never got around to it. While each person will naturally relate this to whatever experiences they’ve gone through or are currently experiencing, please note that I’m talking about relationships in general and not just the ‘male/female’ relationship.

Once people surpass the ‘getting to know you' stage, they move on to categorizing. You have those who fall under ‘family’, ‘close friends – almost family’, ‘semi-friends’, ‘acquaintances’, ‘never want to see/talk to them’, etc. With some people, it’s easy to fit them into the appropriate slot. Others, though, it seems very difficult; they teeter-totter on the borderline and you never know when to make a final decision or where to place them.

There are people who enter our lives, people whose thought process we find admirable, whom we feel that we connect with, whose company we enjoy. Yet, as we get to know them better, as the novelty starts to subside, and we see more and more of the ‘full picture’ of that person’s personality, we find ourselves struggling. “Does this person add value to my life, or suck the energy out?”

It’s not easy to find people you connect or relate to. So, once you do, you hesitate to walk away. Human nature reminds us of the good times and we somehow sweep the bad under the rug and convince ourselves that there’s more ‘good’ than ‘bad’. Yet at the same time, with age and experience, tolerance levels get reduced greatly and priorities start shifting.

When do you stop compromising? When do you decide that enough is enough? There is no perfect person, so when do you decide whether their imperfection is something you can tolerate or not? Life has no guarantees. Life has no black or white answers. Life is too short to be wasted on the wrong people.

The dictionary says that compromise is: “a settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions.” The operative word here is ‘EACH’. I don’t think making the decision is the difficult part. If we dig deep down inside, we know whether the person in front of us is someone who is a good addition to our life or not. However, for some reason, once we make what we think is a ‘solid’ connection, it’s tough to break it off. We keep making up excuses and giving second, third, and twenty seventh chances; never quite realizing that if it was truly solid, no chances would be needed (at least not that many)!

When someone comes to us for advice, it’s so easy for us to give it; just like it’ll be easy for any of you to write a comment about this. But when it comes to your own life and the friends who cross your path, is it easy for you? Is it easy to draw the line and walk away once someone crosses it? Knowing the withdrawal symptoms you will face, how do you surpass that and move on? Just how much of yourself do you give up when you compromise?