Saturday, December 17, 2005

لبيك اللهم لبيك - Part II

The Bahrain-Saudi Causeway: We left Bahrain around 12:30 pm on Monday January 17th, 2005. The whole drive across the causeway, I was lost in a different world. “What is it going to be like? I’ve gone to 3omra before, how difficult could this be? Will I know what to do? What if I forget something? What if I do something wrong? What if God does not accept my 7ajj?!!? What will happen when I return? How will it be coming back and facing the same life, from a different perspective? Will I change?”

So many questions, but the overall emotion was that of fear and excitement.

Dammam Airport: When we arrived, it suddenly all became too real. At first, it seemed like we were going on a trip and so many other people were there with their families doing the same. I looked at people’s faces. There were those who seemed like they had no idea what they were doing there, others happy beyond belief, some nervous, and others who just seemed to want to help in any way possible.

Those in charge of the 7emla were great. They were organized, they had people all over the place, they took care of us and made us feel welcome and taken care of!

Taif Airport: Once we got off the plane, I suddenly wasn’t sure where I ended up. It felt like a bus station! So many people everywhere, no organization, bags all over the place, children running around, complete chaos! Somehow though, we all got funneled into our appropriate busses and we made the trek to go and “na7rem”…

E7ram: What an amazing feeling… to sit there and cleanse yourself physically, mentally, emotionally. To know that the minute you’re done with e7ram, you suddenly are a person who has to give up so many things: no getting upset or mad, no getting frustrated, no killing of any insects, no pulling any hairs out, no looking in the mirror, no to a lot of things, and yes to a lot more. Yes to purifying your soul. Yes to praying and remembering the teachings of Islam. Yes to being good to your fellow humans and helping out.

It’s funny how this is how we SHOULD be every day of our lives, but for some reason, it’s so much easier when you’re in Hajj/close to Bait Allah. Now that we have cleansed ourselves, it was time to head to Mecca and start 7ajj.. this is it!! We’re going to Bait Allah.. I’m finally starting the 7ajj journey and there’s no turning back now. Suddenly, all fear was gone. I could barely contain my excitement. I couldn’t wait to see El Ka3ba!! I was dressed in all white, and that’s how I felt from the inside as well.

El Ka3ba: We finally arrived at Bait Allah around 2 a.m. and organized in small groups. It was time to prepare to go in and perform the 3omra tasks first. We lined up and el murshid explained to us what we were going to do: “When we go in, we’ll line up. I will read the neya and you have to repeat it after me. We then will walk towards the Ka3ba in the same formation. Stick close to each other. Women, lock your arms together and don’t let go. Men, surround the women and try to protect them so others don’t bump into them. Let’s go.”

As we started to walk in, my heart was beating so loud, I could barely hear anything. “I’m ready for this,” I thought, “nothing to fear or worry about.” Then, a flood of tears gushed down my cheeks. I was suddenly standing in front of el Ka3ba and I couldn’t contain myself. I felt 3athamat El Khaleq around me. I felt this great rahba that I can’t even begin to explain to you! As I said the neya I suddenly forgot about the whole world. Nothing existed in my mind except what I saw in front of me and the reason I was there. No work, no worldly troubles, nothing. All of that was a distant memory which didn’t seem to matter anymore. Why did I get so annoyed with my boss all those times? Why was I upset with my friend? Why did this and that get me frustrated? Those all suddenly seemed like stupid things which, in the bigger picture/in the big scheme of things, were SOOO irrelevant that I suddenly felt stupid for even getting bothered by any of it.

We started walking towards the Ka3ba to begin el 6awaf…


to be continued...

10 comments:

3teej said...

Mashallah 3laich, You’re really gifted in writing, may Allah accept from you.
Keep up the good work and all the best.

MSB said...

dream/reality: good luck to all of us!! it's not really that difficult, bs el shay6an sha6r o e7na lazy!! :/

3teej: hatha min thoqek..thanx..

welcome to my blog!

Temetwir said...

inshalla inshallllah next yr when im done with this nonsense aro7 el 7aj en allah 3a6aana 3omer

MSB said...

Teme: Allah ya36eek inshAllah.. i hope u make it there cuz there's nothing else in this world that would ever give u that same feeling. Aneh al7een galby ga3d yetga6a3; i'm dying to go again!

MSB said...

moodlonely: alf al7mdla!!!

MSB said...

101: thanx & welcome!! inshAllah 6olt el3omr & u get a chance to go..

as for the rumor, i did hear about it.. they're getting more strict as far as controlling the number of ppl who go for safety reasons. the "ur only allowed to go once every 5 years" thing i heard 2 years ago. however, i know some ppl who went to hajj last yr and r going again this year. so it doesn't look like this has been enforced yet!

the age restriction i read about in another blog. havent heard about it elsewhere though.

while i understand y they'd impose a 1ce-in-5yrs restriction, selfishly, i dont want that!!! i would love to go annually if i can. however, i know ineh i should really let other ppl who havent fulfilled their religious obligation to go instead.. :(

BitterSweet said...

Reading this post made me realize how much I actually crave to visit the holy lands soon, maybe 3umra first, later the Hadj insh'allah, itha Allah 3atana 3umr. I agree with you it's ridiculous to set limit the right of going to the hadj once in 5 years, I want go when I feel it's time to go.
Allah yitqabbal minch wu ya3athim ajrich insh'allah

MSB said...

bittersweet: that's how it begins.. with a craving.. and yes, i think going to 3omra first is a good idea. Taqabal Allah minna wa minkom sale7 el a3mal... Allah yebalegh jamee3 el mo2mnin zeyarat Baita El 7aram!

PINKJAWBREAKER said...

tagabal alla 6a3aykom inshala . .

It was wonderful reading ur post .. I would love yo go to HAJ too . . Inshalla soon :-)

PINKJAWBREAKER said...

6a3atkom* = sorry typo