لبيك اللهم لبيك - Part II

The Bahrain-Saudi Causeway: We left Bahrain around 12:30 pm on Monday January 17^th, 2005. The whole drive across the causeway, I was lost in a different world. “What is it going to be like? I’ve gone to 3omra before, how difficult could this be? Will I know what to do? What if I forget something? What if I do something wrong? What if God does not accept my 7ajj?!!? What will happen when I return? How will it be coming back and facing the same life, from a different perspective? Will I change?”

So many questions, but the overall emotion was that of fear and excitement.

Dammam Airport: When we arrived, it suddenly all became too real. At first, it seemed like we were going on a trip and so many other people were there with their families doing the same. I looked at people’s faces. There were those who seemed like they had no idea what they were doing there, others happy beyond belief, some nervous, and others who just seemed to want to help in any way possible.

Those in charge of the 7emla were great. They were organized, they had people all over the place, they took care of us and made us feel welcome and taken care of!

Taif Airport: Once we got off the plane, I suddenly wasn’t sure where I ended up. It felt like a bus station! So many people everywhere, no organization, bags all over the place, children running around, complete chaos! Somehow though, we all got funneled into our appropriate busses and we made the trek to go and “na7rem”…

E7ram: What an amazing feeling… to sit there and cleanse yourself physically, mentally, emotionally. To know that the minute you’re done with e7ram, you suddenly are a person who has to give up so many things: no getting upset or mad, no getting frustrated, no killing of any insects, no pulling any hairs out, no looking in the mirror, no to a lot of things, and yes to a lot more. Yes to purifying your soul. Yes to praying and remembering the teachings of Islam. Yes to being good to your fellow humans and helping out.

It’s funny how this is how we SHOULD be every day of our lives, but for some reason, it’s so much easier when you’re in Hajj/close to Bait Allah. Now that we have cleansed ourselves, it was time to head to Mecca and start 7ajj.. this is it!! We’re going to Bait Allah.. I’m finally starting the 7ajj journey and there’s no turning back now. Suddenly, all fear was gone. I could barely contain my excitement. I couldn’t wait to see El Ka3ba!! I was dressed in all white, and that’s how I felt from the inside as well.

El Ka3ba: We finally arrived at Bait Allah around 2 a.m. and organized in small groups. It was time to prepare to go in and perform the 3omra tasks first. We lined up and el murshid explained to us what we were going to do: “When we go in, we’ll line up. I will read the neya and you have to repeat it after me. We then will walk towards the Ka3ba in the same formation. Stick close to each other. Women, lock your arms together and don’t let go. Men, surround the women and try to protect them so others don’t bump into them. Let’s go.”

As we started to walk in, my heart was beating so loud, I could barely hear anything. “I’m ready for this,” I thought, “nothing to fear or worry about.” Then, a flood of tears gushed down my cheeks. I was suddenly standing in front of el Ka3ba and I couldn’t contain myself. I felt 3athamat El Khaleq around me. I felt this great rahba that I can’t even begin to explain to you! As I said the neya I suddenly forgot about the whole world. Nothing existed in my mind except what I saw in front of me and the reason I was there. No work, no worldly troubles, nothing. All of that was a distant memory which didn’t seem to matter anymore. Why did I get so annoyed with my boss all those times? Why was I upset with my friend? Why did this and that get me frustrated? Those all suddenly seemed like stupid things which, in the bigger picture/in the big scheme of things, were SOOO irrelevant that I suddenly felt stupid for even getting bothered by any of it.

We started walking towards the Ka3ba to begin el 6awaf…

to be continued...